The Republican presidential candidate we’ve all been waiting for

The Republican presidential candidate we’ve all been waiting for.

Who, you may ask, is T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII?

Simply put, a man born to the conservative saddle. The only scion of the legendary swashbuckling conservative editor / author / bon vivant T. Coddington Van Voorhees VI, I have since my earliest days honed a conservatism forged in the fires of intellectual combat, stoked by the bellows of classic education, and tempered in the cooling waters of good breeding. Even before matriculating at East Hampton Country Daycare, I was thrust headlong into heady intellectual debates of postwar American politics. Oh, how I cherish those moments, bouncing astride my father’s knee, as he held postprandial court on the patio with Long Island Sound’s most scrupulous Republicans – like Newport GOP chairman Z. Pilastor Fennewick, Greenwich GOP legend Boylston McInernery, and East Hampton’s “hostess with the mostest,” Modesty Crabwater. And although Dad had his differences with each, I admired the elegant grace with which these Republicans could command an Adirondack chair or accept electoral defeat. It is that very same grace I shall endeavor to bring back to the Grand Old Party.

Why Obama should be re-elected

Why Obama should be re-elected.

The guy has done absolutely everything he’s promised… that’s mattered. Like remember how he said he was going to pass a big stimulus and keep unemployment from being 8%? Well, he passed his stimulus, and now unemployment… is not 8%. It’s an entirely different number than that. If you really didn’t want 8% unemployment, well guess what: You’re not dealing with that level of unemployment. Promise kept. And look at all the work he did for it: He spent $666 billion to bypass 8% unemployment. Could you spend that much money? No way. If I sat you down in front of a computer, logged you in to Amazon, and said, “Spend $666 billion,” it would be futile. You’d be clicking “Buy Now” until your mouse broke. But Obama did it; the man’s got hustle.

Read the whole thing. It will surely change your mind about Obama.

Dear Congress: Your credit application has been turned down

Dear Congress: Your credit application has been turned down.

You may also wish to contact a consumer credit counseling agency. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling can help you locate a reputable counseling agency in your area. You may also wish to visit the NFCC’s website for helpful tips on such subjects as

•drawing up a budget
•living within your means
•saving during tough economic times
•steps to take when your finances get out of control

The nation was left reeling yesterday by the revelation that the presidential election of 2008 was a hoax.

The truth at last! The nation was left reeling yesterday by the revelation that the presidential election of 2008 was a hoax. Key quote:

O’Keefe said he also expected the ruse would be unmasked when Obama said that “under my plan of a cap-and-trade system, electricity rates would necessarily skyrocket,” and again when Obama claimed, “I’ve now been in 57 (U.S.) states,” with “one left to go.”

“We modeled the 57-states gaffe on Dan Quayle’s ‘potatoe’ mistake,” said O’Keefe, referring to a 1992 incident at a Trenton, N.J., elementary school in which then-Vice President Dan Quayle added an “e” to “potato.” “We figured Obama would become a national laughingstock like Quayle, (but we) underestimated the tendency of the press and the public to forgive mistakes by people they like.”

Read the whole thing.

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