Whistling now forbidden

Fascists: After several black employees in a television newsroom were horrified when they heard a photographer casually whistling the folk tune “Dixie”, the station management immediately clamped down and promised such evil will never be allowed to happen again!

On Thursday, two meetings were held with staffers and WBTV general manager Nick Simonette and news director Dennis Milligan. “We wanted the staff to know that we don’t tolerate things in the workplace that make people uncomfortable,” Milligan said. “We encourage people to come forward. I think it was handled in an appropriate way.”

I’m so glad. Now those black employees know that if anyone says anything at all that they disagree with — making them “uncomfortable” — all they have to do is complain and they can shut them up. Modern American freedom!