Tag: comedy

Rising sales of US Constitution put Homeland Security on alert!

9:22 am

Heh.

A surge of book sales that pushed the US Constitution into the top ten best seller list of the Conservative Book Club has caused federal officials to put the Department of Homeland Security on “full alert.”

“This is just the type of abnormal behavior that should trigger a high state of vigilance,” Secretary Jeh Johnson declared. “We expect a few loud-mouthed right-wing politicians to repeatedly harp on whether some action taken by the government is constitutional. But we can’t afford to overlook tens of thousands of ordinary citizens reading such seditious literature.”

The site calls itself “Semi-News/Semi-Satire”. It is tragic how accurate that title is.

5 comments

World still terrorized by ‘‘Random Angry Unknown Folks’’ the Obama adminstration declares

9:19 am

Heh. Link here.

The world has been rocked almost daily throughout the past few years by shootings, stabbings, bombings, and other atrocities throughout Western societies and the Middle East by what the White House has come to be officially call “Random Angry Unknown Folks” (RAUFs), and the Obama administration will “quadruple” on its efforts to stop these seemingly motiveless random angry people who have been plaguing the world with their seemingly “senseless, pointless, motivation-lacking non-descript acts aimed at apparently no one in particular”, according to State Department Spokesperson Jennifer Psaki.

It gets better. Read it all.

8 comments

Michael Davis – Juggler

6:01 pm

An evening pause: I saw Davis perform live in the Bahamas back in 1992. He was the warm-up act, and was far far better than the star attraction, which I don’t remember any longer. His style is so nice and silly and funny you just want to keep watching and watching forever. Part 2 of this performance can be found here.

Hat tip Tom Biggar.

2 comments

The Revolutionary Non Sequitar Turbo Encabulator Transmission

6:01 pm

An evening pause: This video below was done during the narrator’s warm-up prior to actually recording a Rockwell International industrial touting that company’s first effort in building heavy duty automatic transmissions. As the website notes, “Now remember this is strictly off the cuff, nothing is written down. Nothing he says is true, it’s all meaningless drivel made up as he goes along.” It is also hilarious to watch.

Sadly, this is drivel we now hear every day from government officials. Unfortunately, not enough people seem capable of recognizing drivel when they hear it. If they could, we might be able to laugh about it more.

One comment

Jimmy Kimmel savages Obamacare and ignorant young who support it.

10:05 am

Jimmy Kimmel savages Obamacare and ignorant young who support it.

Read and watch it all. Quite entertaining, in a painful sort of way.

The article also notes that while young people should surely be criticized for their blind faith in Obama and the Democrats, the media is as much to blame.

Without question, if America’s media had behaved responsibly in 2009 and 2010, the calls and emails to Congress opposing this legislation would have been so voluminous it never would have passed.

But instead, with the exception of the conservative outlets, America’s media were 100 percent behind this legislation, aiding and abetting the President and his Party to enact something that virtually all late night comics agree is a total joke.

2 comments

Scientists tell the truth.

8:46 am

Scientists tell the truth.

I especially like this one: “We assume 50 Ivy League kids represent the general population because actual ‘real people’ can be sketchy and expensive.”

Recently there were two college students with me on a cave trip and they were talking about their lab work and said the exact same kind of thing: Sometimes the parameters of an experiment are chosen not for scientific reasons but for convenience or emotions irrelevant to the experiment.

2 comments

Dave Barry looks back at 2013.

9:18 am

Dave Barry looks back at 2013: The year of the zombies.

But getting back to the zombies: It wasn’t just people who came back alarmingly in 2013. The Cold War with Russia came back. Al-Qaeda came back. Turmoil in the Middle East came back. The debt ceiling came back. The major league baseball drug scandal came back. Dennis Rodman came back and went on humanitarian missions to North Korea (or maybe we just hallucinated that). The Endlessly Looming Government Shutdown came back. People lining up to buy iPhones to replace iPhones that they bought only minutes earlier came back. And for approximately the 250th time, the Obama administration pivoted back to the economy, which has somehow been recovering for years now without actually getting any better. Unfortunately, before they could get the darned thing fixed, the administration had to pivot back to yet another zombie issue, health care, because it turned out that Obamacare, despite all the massive brainpower behind it, had some “glitches,” in the same sense that the universe has some “atoms.”

Read it all. It will make you wish an actual zombie apocalypse had happened.

Leave a comment
1 … 6 7 8 9 10 … 16