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News you can use! In an effort to improve his brand, Kim Jong-Un came to New York on Friday to learn Planned Parenthood’s techniques for manipulating the media and covering up its human rights atrocities.
The North Korean delegate reportedly met with leaders at Planned Parenthood, where a panel of public relations professionals demonstrated the organization’s advanced methods of squashing any clear evidence of its brutal, callous slaughtering of human babies the moment it arises. “So you just get a judge to pull all the damning videos right away, and charge those trying to expose you with felonies? Amazing. We don’t even have that kind of power over the media back in Pyongyang.”
In other news, from the same source: ISIS lays down arms after Katy Perry’s impassioned plea to ‘Like, just co-exist.’
It is now obvious I have been getting my news information from the wrong sources. Things are much better than I might have supposed.