SANS ICS HyperEncabulator
An evening pause: Essentially, a detailed and accurate history of the important encabulating technology that has revolutionized all technology, both real and imagined.
Hat tip Wayne DeVette.
Tag: satire
Zladko “Zlad” Vladcik – Elektronik Supersonik
An evening pause: Actually, this was created by filmmaker Santo Cilauro, who plays Vladcik in the video. I think it showed up on Youtube in the 2000s, but this isn’t confirmed. It is meant to be as silly as Spike Jones.
Hat tip sippin_bourbon.
Weird Al Yankovic – Smells Like Nirvana
An evening pause: Seems to me, this expresses perfectly the level of thoughtfulness seen in many hard rock music videos, only it does it more honestly.
Hat tip Gene Shipp.
A Millennial Job Interview
POTATO – The World’s First Smart Potato
An evening pause: Reminds me of every single commercial I see on television these days. Only smarter.
Hat tip Mike Nelson.
A real look at Mark Zuckerberg’s testimony to Congress
The satire site the Babylon Bee has been hitting home runs all week with a series of posts poking fun at Facebook’s founder Mark Zuckerberg in connection with his appearance this week at a Senate hearing.
- Facebook Staffers Coach Mark Zuckerberg On Humanlike Behavior
- Zuckerberg Begins Testimony By Reminding Senators He Knows All Their Deepest Thoughts, Hopes, Fears
- Zuckerberg Loses Contact Lens During Senate Hearing Revealing Horrifying Lizard Eye
- Zuckerberg Requires House Members To Accept Terms Of Service Before He Testifies
From the last story:
Passing a set of tablets around the room, the tech billionaire asked every person present to read and accept the full 335,000-word, 6-point-font document before they could proceed. “If you would please just click the button signing all of your personal data over to me, yada yada yada, we can get this show on the road,” Zuckerberg said calmly before taking a sip of water. “It’s your basic, no-frills TOS. Nothing to worry about in there, I promise.”
The congressmen quickly skimmed the first of the 1,342 digital pages before clicking “accept” as per their customary approach to signing important legislation as part of their daily jobs, according to sources present.
We must remember that Facebook had previously tried to censor the Bee for publishing “fake news,” and the Bee has clearly not forgiven them for it.
The satire site the Babylon Bee has been hitting home runs all week with a series of posts poking fun at Facebook’s founder Mark Zuckerberg in connection with his appearance this week at a Senate hearing.
- Facebook Staffers Coach Mark Zuckerberg On Humanlike Behavior
- Zuckerberg Begins Testimony By Reminding Senators He Knows All Their Deepest Thoughts, Hopes, Fears
- Zuckerberg Loses Contact Lens During Senate Hearing Revealing Horrifying Lizard Eye
- Zuckerberg Requires House Members To Accept Terms Of Service Before He Testifies
From the last story:
Passing a set of tablets around the room, the tech billionaire asked every person present to read and accept the full 335,000-word, 6-point-font document before they could proceed. “If you would please just click the button signing all of your personal data over to me, yada yada yada, we can get this show on the road,” Zuckerberg said calmly before taking a sip of water. “It’s your basic, no-frills TOS. Nothing to worry about in there, I promise.”
The congressmen quickly skimmed the first of the 1,342 digital pages before clicking “accept” as per their customary approach to signing important legislation as part of their daily jobs, according to sources present.
We must remember that Facebook had previously tried to censor the Bee for publishing “fake news,” and the Bee has clearly not forgiven them for it.
Facebook updates privacy policy to simply read “LOL”
News you can use! Facebook has replaced its long and complex privacy policy to the simple three letter term “LOL.”
“We wanted to be more forthright with our users,” Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg told reporters. “We could give you this boring tome of legalese, or we could simply put it in terms everyone can understand. The popular internet abbreviation for ‘laughing out loud’ is an accurate, concise summary of how we feel about your private data.”
“It’s short, sweet, and to the point,” he added.
Users joining the site for the first time are asked to read the three-letter privacy policy in its entirety before clicking “accept” to acknowledge that the social networking company just laughs its collective keister off at the notion of any Facebook user having any kind of privacy whatsoever.
It is said that for humor to work, it must be based on truth. I think this is a good example.
News you can use! Facebook has replaced its long and complex privacy policy to the simple three letter term “LOL.”
“We wanted to be more forthright with our users,” Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg told reporters. “We could give you this boring tome of legalese, or we could simply put it in terms everyone can understand. The popular internet abbreviation for ‘laughing out loud’ is an accurate, concise summary of how we feel about your private data.”
“It’s short, sweet, and to the point,” he added.
Users joining the site for the first time are asked to read the three-letter privacy policy in its entirety before clicking “accept” to acknowledge that the social networking company just laughs its collective keister off at the notion of any Facebook user having any kind of privacy whatsoever.
It is said that for humor to work, it must be based on truth. I think this is a good example.
Catching up on stupid news
The political news these days is routinely bad and depressing. Here’s a take, from Andrew Klavan, that provides us a more refreshing look, while giving us all a break from the anger, hate, and dumbness coming from college campuses and Congress.
The political news these days is routinely bad and depressing. Here’s a take, from Andrew Klavan, that provides us a more refreshing look, while giving us all a break from the anger, hate, and dumbness coming from college campuses and Congress.
Trump White House wins Emmy for best reality show
News you can use! The Trump White House has won an Emmy for producing the best on-going reality show on television.
Trump accepted the award in an emotional speech at the Microsoft Theater, thanking the hundreds of staff members he has fired so far in his presidency, as well as his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. “Oh man, I know I’m forgetting so many people,” he said as the background music began to prompt him to wrap up his acceptance speech. “Spicey, the Mooch, Bannon the Cannon, and all the others I can’t remember right now—you guys made this all possible. I know I’m the star here, but it’s the great cast of side characters, past and present, that really made this whole insane circus come together.”
“I’m the best!” he cried out as he was finally escorted off stage.
Read it all. You will realize that real reality is almost always more interesting than fake reality.
News you can use! The Trump White House has won an Emmy for producing the best on-going reality show on television.
Trump accepted the award in an emotional speech at the Microsoft Theater, thanking the hundreds of staff members he has fired so far in his presidency, as well as his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. “Oh man, I know I’m forgetting so many people,” he said as the background music began to prompt him to wrap up his acceptance speech. “Spicey, the Mooch, Bannon the Cannon, and all the others I can’t remember right now—you guys made this all possible. I know I’m the star here, but it’s the great cast of side characters, past and present, that really made this whole insane circus come together.”
“I’m the best!” he cried out as he was finally escorted off stage.
Read it all. You will realize that real reality is almost always more interesting than fake reality.
ISIS files “cultural appropriation” complaint against ANTIFA with UN
Link here. The complaint, from ISIS High Command (“somewhere along the Syria-Iraq border”), begins as follows:
As you may know, there is a new category of outrage that “social justice warriors” the world over are fighting to stop: “cultural appropriation.” Loosely defined, this outrage occurs whenever a person, group or organization begins adopting the habits and mannerisms that originate elsewhere…. In this vein, we are writing to file a formal complaint with the UNHRC’s Committee on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights, regarding a matter that we consider most serious: the fact that the recently-organized, global “ANTIFA” movement has:
(1) Culturally appropriated what is clearly ISIS’s trademark black uniforms
(2) Culturally appropriated the terror-tactics we employ while wearing these uniforms
They then provide documented evidence, including photos, and then note, “Now, if you were to see one or the other of these groups marching down your street, would you be able to determine, at a glance, if they are with ISIS, or ANTIFA?”
Their solution?
You might mention to the ANTIFA punks that in quite a few aspects, we are at war with the very same people, organizations and ideas, and, in fact, Western civilization itself. So, if you could arrange a sit-down over tea with us, and them, it might serve all of our interests, and provide a holistic, inclusive resolution to our complaint. Thanks!
Makes perfect sense to me. I mean, really, these guys all seem to have the same goals.
Link here. The complaint, from ISIS High Command (“somewhere along the Syria-Iraq border”), begins as follows:
As you may know, there is a new category of outrage that “social justice warriors” the world over are fighting to stop: “cultural appropriation.” Loosely defined, this outrage occurs whenever a person, group or organization begins adopting the habits and mannerisms that originate elsewhere…. In this vein, we are writing to file a formal complaint with the UNHRC’s Committee on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights, regarding a matter that we consider most serious: the fact that the recently-organized, global “ANTIFA” movement has:
(1) Culturally appropriated what is clearly ISIS’s trademark black uniforms
(2) Culturally appropriated the terror-tactics we employ while wearing these uniforms
They then provide documented evidence, including photos, and then note, “Now, if you were to see one or the other of these groups marching down your street, would you be able to determine, at a glance, if they are with ISIS, or ANTIFA?”
Their solution?
You might mention to the ANTIFA punks that in quite a few aspects, we are at war with the very same people, organizations and ideas, and, in fact, Western civilization itself. So, if you could arrange a sit-down over tea with us, and them, it might serve all of our interests, and provide a holistic, inclusive resolution to our complaint. Thanks!
Makes perfect sense to me. I mean, really, these guys all seem to have the same goals.
Kim Jong-Un Consults With Planned Parenthood To Learn How To Cover Up Atrocities
News you can use! In an effort to improve his brand, Kim Jong-Un came to New York on Friday to learn Planned Parenthood’s techniques for manipulating the media and covering up its human rights atrocities.
The North Korean delegate reportedly met with leaders at Planned Parenthood, where a panel of public relations professionals demonstrated the organization’s advanced methods of squashing any clear evidence of its brutal, callous slaughtering of human babies the moment it arises. “So you just get a judge to pull all the damning videos right away, and charge those trying to expose you with felonies? Amazing. We don’t even have that kind of power over the media back in Pyongyang.”
In other news, from the same source: ISIS lays down arms after Katy Perry’s impassioned plea to ‘Like, just co-exist.’
It is now obvious I have been getting my news information from the wrong sources. Things are much better than I might have supposed.
News you can use! In an effort to improve his brand, Kim Jong-Un came to New York on Friday to learn Planned Parenthood’s techniques for manipulating the media and covering up its human rights atrocities.
The North Korean delegate reportedly met with leaders at Planned Parenthood, where a panel of public relations professionals demonstrated the organization’s advanced methods of squashing any clear evidence of its brutal, callous slaughtering of human babies the moment it arises. “So you just get a judge to pull all the damning videos right away, and charge those trying to expose you with felonies? Amazing. We don’t even have that kind of power over the media back in Pyongyang.”
In other news, from the same source: ISIS lays down arms after Katy Perry’s impassioned plea to ‘Like, just co-exist.’
It is now obvious I have been getting my news information from the wrong sources. Things are much better than I might have supposed.
Chicago Cubs are being forced to give up their World Series title
Heh. From Reddit.
Cleveland Indians fans have rioted across the country in protest of the 2016 World Series. Despite knowing the rules of the game prior to playing, they were unhappy they lost and demanded the outcome to be changed.
They could be heard chanting #NotOurWorldSeriesChampion all across America. Even though the Cubs won 4 games and the Indians only won 3, since both teams scored 27 total runs throughout all 7 games, they are being declared co-world champions.
There’s more. Make sure you read the comments as well. For example: “The Indians won the popular hits in game 5 so they should win.”
Heh. From Reddit.
Cleveland Indians fans have rioted across the country in protest of the 2016 World Series. Despite knowing the rules of the game prior to playing, they were unhappy they lost and demanded the outcome to be changed.
They could be heard chanting #NotOurWorldSeriesChampion all across America. Even though the Cubs won 4 games and the Indians only won 3, since both teams scored 27 total runs throughout all 7 games, they are being declared co-world champions.
There’s more. Make sure you read the comments as well. For example: “The Indians won the popular hits in game 5 so they should win.”
Scott Ott – How NPR really covers the GOP Presidential Primary race
An evening pause: Rather than waste your time watching the childish reporting of the presidential campaign on cable news, watch this short satire of NPR instead. It sums things up nicely, poking great fun at liberal news coverage.
Sadly, most of the conservative coverage has been as childish.
Hat tip Tom Biggar.
The entire world economy explained using cows
Heh. The sad part is how true it all is. Only one option produces wealth and prosperity, but humans seem determined to choose every other possible option instead, even though they all guarantee failure.
Heh. The sad part is how true it all is. Only one option produces wealth and prosperity, but humans seem determined to choose every other possible option instead, even though they all guarantee failure.
Auschwitz commandant outraged over Mengele video
Rudolph Hoess, family man and commandant of the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp, has been desperately trying to restore the camp’s reputation after some damaging remarks by one of its doctors, Joseph Mengele, were caught on tape and posted online.
Dr. Mengele, who oversees medical services at the camp, was recorded casually speaking of a girl who was suffering complications as a result of HitlerCare. The girl, Eva Mozes Kor, complained of fever, trembling, and swollen limbs that resulted from a series of five free government-funded injections. Mengele is seen on the tape laughing off the matter saying, “Too bad she is so young. She has only two weeks to live.”
To Hoess, such behavior is unacceptable. “I want to be clear,” said Hoess, “that I find the tone of Dr. Mengele’s remarks inappropriate, and that he has been properly reprimanded. Furthermore, I wish to emphasize that nobody on the staff at this concentration camp in any way profits from the clothing, valuables, cash, and gold fillings that are reallocated from our guests. While some evidence, which was tragically burned, may have indicated an occasional impropriety, we nevertheless pride ourselves in offering compassionate care at this facility, no matter what.”
Read it all. His outrage at the way the video was obtained will tell you who the real villains are in this story. How dare someone slander the reputation of these fine individuals!
Rudolph Hoess, family man and commandant of the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp, has been desperately trying to restore the camp’s reputation after some damaging remarks by one of its doctors, Joseph Mengele, were caught on tape and posted online.
Dr. Mengele, who oversees medical services at the camp, was recorded casually speaking of a girl who was suffering complications as a result of HitlerCare. The girl, Eva Mozes Kor, complained of fever, trembling, and swollen limbs that resulted from a series of five free government-funded injections. Mengele is seen on the tape laughing off the matter saying, “Too bad she is so young. She has only two weeks to live.”
To Hoess, such behavior is unacceptable. “I want to be clear,” said Hoess, “that I find the tone of Dr. Mengele’s remarks inappropriate, and that he has been properly reprimanded. Furthermore, I wish to emphasize that nobody on the staff at this concentration camp in any way profits from the clothing, valuables, cash, and gold fillings that are reallocated from our guests. While some evidence, which was tragically burned, may have indicated an occasional impropriety, we nevertheless pride ourselves in offering compassionate care at this facility, no matter what.”
Read it all. His outrage at the way the video was obtained will tell you who the real villains are in this story. How dare someone slander the reputation of these fine individuals!
Parks and Recreation – “Thoughts For Your Thoughts”
An evening pause: For anyone who has ever listened to NPR, it will be hard to distinguish the satire here from reality, since the skit so well captures public radio’s often empty-headed blather disguised as profound intellectualism, framed by a strong desire to promote anything the government wants done.
Hat tip to John Harman.
Rising sales of US Constitution put Homeland Security on alert!
A surge of book sales that pushed the US Constitution into the top ten best seller list of the Conservative Book Club has caused federal officials to put the Department of Homeland Security on “full alert.”
“This is just the type of abnormal behavior that should trigger a high state of vigilance,” Secretary Jeh Johnson declared. “We expect a few loud-mouthed right-wing politicians to repeatedly harp on whether some action taken by the government is constitutional. But we can’t afford to overlook tens of thousands of ordinary citizens reading such seditious literature.”
The site calls itself “Semi-News/Semi-Satire”. It is tragic how accurate that title is.
A surge of book sales that pushed the US Constitution into the top ten best seller list of the Conservative Book Club has caused federal officials to put the Department of Homeland Security on “full alert.”
“This is just the type of abnormal behavior that should trigger a high state of vigilance,” Secretary Jeh Johnson declared. “We expect a few loud-mouthed right-wing politicians to repeatedly harp on whether some action taken by the government is constitutional. But we can’t afford to overlook tens of thousands of ordinary citizens reading such seditious literature.”
The site calls itself “Semi-News/Semi-Satire”. It is tragic how accurate that title is.
Obama learns of existence of mysterious ‘‘Hillary Clinton’’ from news!
President Obama was reportedly shocked and stunned to learn from simply watching the news on Wednesday of the existence of this formally unknown yet very important “Hillary Clinton” person whom not only had been his Democratic primary opponent in 2007 and 2008, but had also been his Secretary of State from 2009 to 2013.
President Obama was reportedly shocked and stunned to learn from simply watching the news on Wednesday of the existence of this formally unknown yet very important “Hillary Clinton” person whom not only had been his Democratic primary opponent in 2007 and 2008, but had also been his Secretary of State from 2009 to 2013.
World still terrorized by ‘‘Random Angry Unknown Folks’’ the Obama adminstration declares
Heh. Link here.
The world has been rocked almost daily throughout the past few years by shootings, stabbings, bombings, and other atrocities throughout Western societies and the Middle East by what the White House has come to be officially call “Random Angry Unknown Folks” (RAUFs), and the Obama administration will “quadruple” on its efforts to stop these seemingly motiveless random angry people who have been plaguing the world with their seemingly “senseless, pointless, motivation-lacking non-descript acts aimed at apparently no one in particular”, according to State Department Spokesperson Jennifer Psaki.
It gets better. Read it all.
Heh. Link here.
The world has been rocked almost daily throughout the past few years by shootings, stabbings, bombings, and other atrocities throughout Western societies and the Middle East by what the White House has come to be officially call “Random Angry Unknown Folks” (RAUFs), and the Obama administration will “quadruple” on its efforts to stop these seemingly motiveless random angry people who have been plaguing the world with their seemingly “senseless, pointless, motivation-lacking non-descript acts aimed at apparently no one in particular”, according to State Department Spokesperson Jennifer Psaki.
It gets better. Read it all.
A transcript of the phone conversation between Barack Obama and Dwight Eisenhower on the eve of the invasion of Normandy.
Heh: A transcript of the phone conversation between Barack Obama and Dwight Eisenhower on the eve of the invasion of Normandy.
The 70th anniversary of D-Day is Friday. Remember well a time when Americans stood unflinchingly for freedom.
Heh: A transcript of the phone conversation between Barack Obama and Dwight Eisenhower on the eve of the invasion of Normandy.
The 70th anniversary of D-Day is Friday. Remember well a time when Americans stood unflinchingly for freedom.
ObamaCar
And then there’s this, “The transportation breakthrough America needs!”
And then there’s this, “The transportation breakthrough America needs!”
Obama now just learning that he is President!
Heh. Obama now just learning that he is President!
“I mean, I knew I was in a position of high importance, but not like THE President and all. I’m just as shocked as you all!” said the President to reporters in the White House’s Rose Garden, Monday. “…A lot of people have been wondering how all these scandals and things could be happening under my watch and I not know about it…” Obama said. “Well, when you don’t know you’re in charge of all these agencies and people, how can you? Think about it. It’s not my fault.”
Read it all. I especially like his response to a gentle and supportive question from a CNN reporter.
Heh. Obama now just learning that he is President!
“I mean, I knew I was in a position of high importance, but not like THE President and all. I’m just as shocked as you all!” said the President to reporters in the White House’s Rose Garden, Monday. “…A lot of people have been wondering how all these scandals and things could be happening under my watch and I not know about it…” Obama said. “Well, when you don’t know you’re in charge of all these agencies and people, how can you? Think about it. It’s not my fault.”
Read it all. I especially like his response to a gentle and supportive question from a CNN reporter.
Obama and the Democrats solve the terrible terrible problem of the terrible name of the Washington Redskins.
Obama and the Democrats solve the terrible terrible problem of the terrible name of the Washington Redskins.
In a move certain to delight most of official Washington, D.C., it has been decided to change the name of the Washington Redskins football franchise to the Washington Reds. President Obama, himself, voiced his approval of the decision, as did Harry Reid, who was practically giddy upon hearing the news. The stadium will be painted red, in keeping with the new name, and its own name will be changed to Red Stadium. All players who play for the Reds, as well as all Red staff, Red cheerleaders, and Red coaches, will be asked to pay a 60% surtax on their exorbitant salaries and to divest of their pension plans entirely in order to share their wealth more equitably with all of the people of the District of Columbia. Any profit-sharing from games played by the Reds will be placed into the general coffers at Treasury Department and administered by Jack Lew.
Click on the link. It is worth it.
Obama and the Democrats solve the terrible terrible problem of the terrible name of the Washington Redskins.
In a move certain to delight most of official Washington, D.C., it has been decided to change the name of the Washington Redskins football franchise to the Washington Reds. President Obama, himself, voiced his approval of the decision, as did Harry Reid, who was practically giddy upon hearing the news. The stadium will be painted red, in keeping with the new name, and its own name will be changed to Red Stadium. All players who play for the Reds, as well as all Red staff, Red cheerleaders, and Red coaches, will be asked to pay a 60% surtax on their exorbitant salaries and to divest of their pension plans entirely in order to share their wealth more equitably with all of the people of the District of Columbia. Any profit-sharing from games played by the Reds will be placed into the general coffers at Treasury Department and administered by Jack Lew.
Click on the link. It is worth it.
“It was reported today by MSNBC that President Obama was unaware that he had ever said to anyone the words ‘If you like your healthcare plan, you can keep it.'”
As is commonly known, the details of policies put in place by various departments of the Administration are considered beneath the purview of the office of the presidency. The President is above all that and, as Chris Matthews points out, he can hardly be expected to remember such minutiae such as who gave the order to stand down at Benghazi, which is thousands of miles away, or who ordered the IRS to harass certain Tea Party members, let alone members of other terrorist groups, or even what was happening in Fast & Furious down in Mexico. That’s somebody else’s country, said Matthews, and the President just wasn’t personally aware. Besides, he was on the golf course at the time . . . every time.
There’s more, all tragically hilarious.
As is commonly known, the details of policies put in place by various departments of the Administration are considered beneath the purview of the office of the presidency. The President is above all that and, as Chris Matthews points out, he can hardly be expected to remember such minutiae such as who gave the order to stand down at Benghazi, which is thousands of miles away, or who ordered the IRS to harass certain Tea Party members, let alone members of other terrorist groups, or even what was happening in Fast & Furious down in Mexico. That’s somebody else’s country, said Matthews, and the President just wasn’t personally aware. Besides, he was on the golf course at the time . . . every time.
There’s more, all tragically hilarious.
“Look at these radicals who are blatantly defying the federal government by having a stroll and eating lunch in a CLOSED PARK.”
Click on the link. Lots of hilariously captioned pictures of evil tourists defying their righteous government which is so sincerely trying to protect its property from those disgusting “little people.”
Posted as we pass Knoxville, Tennessee.
Click on the link. Lots of hilariously captioned pictures of evil tourists defying their righteous government which is so sincerely trying to protect its property from those disgusting “little people.”
Posted as we pass Knoxville, Tennessee.
“Government shuts down, nation descends into riots, looting and cannibalism.”
“Government shuts down, nation descends into riots, looting and cannibalism.”
“The government shut down! We can do anything we like,” shouted Sam Hasbley of Grassley, Iowa, while tearing the tag off a mattress despite an explicit warning label forbidding such a dangerous course of action. “Tear yours off. The government is shut down. It can’t stop you.”
Eyewitnesses spoke of further horrors. On a quiet street in suburban Massachusetts, a man brought out a set of highly illegal lawn darts. In Maryland, there were allegations that an entire family had begun digging ditches to collect rainwater runoff. With the fall of the government, citizen activists took it upon themselves to chronicle the culture of lawlessness. Men played Gibson guitars made of wood imported from India, but not finished by Indian workers. Women bought cold medicine without a photo ID. Children went hours without hearing lectures about the environment.
Heh. Read it all. You will be horrified.
“Government shuts down, nation descends into riots, looting and cannibalism.”
“The government shut down! We can do anything we like,” shouted Sam Hasbley of Grassley, Iowa, while tearing the tag off a mattress despite an explicit warning label forbidding such a dangerous course of action. “Tear yours off. The government is shut down. It can’t stop you.”
Eyewitnesses spoke of further horrors. On a quiet street in suburban Massachusetts, a man brought out a set of highly illegal lawn darts. In Maryland, there were allegations that an entire family had begun digging ditches to collect rainwater runoff. With the fall of the government, citizen activists took it upon themselves to chronicle the culture of lawlessness. Men played Gibson guitars made of wood imported from India, but not finished by Indian workers. Women bought cold medicine without a photo ID. Children went hours without hearing lectures about the environment.
Heh. Read it all. You will be horrified.
Help Kickstart World War III
An evening pause: I think this video captures the thoughtfulness and objectivity of the Obama voter and today’s progressive left better than anything else I have seen or read.
Mandatory Suicide
Be sure to watch the video: Americans signing a petition supporting the idea of putting old people to “sleep to keep costs down.”
Be sure to watch the video: Americans signing a petition supporting the idea of putting old people to “sleep to keep costs down.”
Congress fiercely divided over completely blank bill that says and does nothing.
If only all bills were this lacking in details: Congress fiercely divided over completely blank bill that says and does nothing.
A blank piece of legislation that says nothing, does nothing, and contains no text whatsoever has been the source of heated debate in Washington this week, and has sharply divided Congress along partisan lines, Beltway sources confirmed Thursday. Known as S.0000, the bill, which doesn’t have sponsors, co-sponsors, or an author, has reportedly drawn starkly contrasting opinions from legislators in both the Senate and House of Representatives, and has paved the way for a major legislative battle in coming months.
Read the whole thing. It accurately captures the reality of present day Washington, with the Democrats pounding the table for this bill and the Republicans pounding the table against it.
If only all bills were this lacking in details: Congress fiercely divided over completely blank bill that says and does nothing.
A blank piece of legislation that says nothing, does nothing, and contains no text whatsoever has been the source of heated debate in Washington this week, and has sharply divided Congress along partisan lines, Beltway sources confirmed Thursday. Known as S.0000, the bill, which doesn’t have sponsors, co-sponsors, or an author, has reportedly drawn starkly contrasting opinions from legislators in both the Senate and House of Representatives, and has paved the way for a major legislative battle in coming months.
Read the whole thing. It accurately captures the reality of present day Washington, with the Democrats pounding the table for this bill and the Republicans pounding the table against it.
Economic crisis forces Detroit to cancel half its murders
Heh: Economic crisis forces Detroit to cancel half its murders.
Such an announcement has left both the city’s homicidal and non-homicidal residents in shock and despair, as the routine murder-capital of the United States prepares to spend the rest of 2013 experiencing only 175 murders instead of the 350 the small but deadly city has come to expect annually. With only 175 murders to boast, residents know their beloved city doesn’t stand a chance to compete with other cities like Chicago, Houston, Los Angeles, or even Baltimore.
City council president Charles Pugh broke the bad news to reporters outside Detroit City Hall Monday evening, following a 6-to-3 council vote on the matter. “After great debate and weeks of agonizing,” said a visibly somber Pugh, “Mr. Orr’s report has left us with little choice. We regret to inform the people of Detroit that based on our city’s economic state, the number of Detroit’s murders will have to be cut in half beginning in June.”
Heh: Economic crisis forces Detroit to cancel half its murders.
Such an announcement has left both the city’s homicidal and non-homicidal residents in shock and despair, as the routine murder-capital of the United States prepares to spend the rest of 2013 experiencing only 175 murders instead of the 350 the small but deadly city has come to expect annually. With only 175 murders to boast, residents know their beloved city doesn’t stand a chance to compete with other cities like Chicago, Houston, Los Angeles, or even Baltimore.
City council president Charles Pugh broke the bad news to reporters outside Detroit City Hall Monday evening, following a 6-to-3 council vote on the matter. “After great debate and weeks of agonizing,” said a visibly somber Pugh, “Mr. Orr’s report has left us with little choice. We regret to inform the people of Detroit that based on our city’s economic state, the number of Detroit’s murders will have to be cut in half beginning in June.”